I'm into lists of late - might be because of the end of the year madness. I thought I'd compile a list of people you might meet during the course of your office holiday party. A big disclaimer: thankfully, none of the people listed are actual people I work with; rather they are liberal composites of holiday parties past and intended to be satirical and over the top. Enjoy!

1. The Guy/Gal Who Knows Everything: Try as hard as possible not to be cornered by TGWKE. Extracting yourself from this conversation takes extreme skill, and newbies usually resort to "excuse me, I have to visit the facilities". Big mistake! The best way to counteract TGWKE is to have a firm buddy system in place, ready to extract each other should the need arise. Hand signals are also good ideas, but these intricate social nods have to be worked out well in advance. Start planning for your 2009 holiday party now.
2. The Sucker-Upper: This particular person can come in male or female form, but they display slightly different behaviors depending on their gender. Men are the ones that are first to the bar, grabbing everyones drinks orders and personally delivering the first pint to the big boss. Women, not jostling for pint position, usually stay close to the boss the entire evening, constantly reminding said boss how thought provoking his or her big ideas are. Both men and women Sucker-Uppers usually stick to one corner - in effect blocking your boss from other conversations throughout the evening. May also be combined with TGWKE, purely for sucking up purposes.
3. The Unhappily Married Couple: One of the more sadly entertaining personalities at any holiday party, the unhappily married couple are the ones who constantly bicker with each other during the meal; they make snide remarks about each other to anyone who will listen. When dessert has been cleared up, they part ways, each choosing their own corner of the dance floor and roping unsuspecting members of the opposite gender into some bizarre, boozy dance. Extra points if they have an all-out screaming match on the dance floor. No, it's not nice to make fun. But a word to the wise - try to limit your drinking if you come as one half of an embattled couple. It's saves the "D'oh!" in the morning.

4. The First Jobber: This is his/her first job out of university. It's free! S/he can't believe that people give out free booze at parties and is determined drink the bar dry and get the most out of the free alcohol on offer. It's free! They usually end up praying to the porcelain deity early on in the evening, or managing to get aggressive enough to punch someone. It's free! By the time you get back to the office in the new year, they've handed in their notice without so much as a goodbye... till they show up for their going away drinks, where the above behavior is repeated on a grander scale. It's still free! Weeeeee!
5. The Too Deep in Conversation for You: TDICFY is waaaaay beyond office politics. They cloister themselves away in a deep, dark corner with another member of staff, talking about the theory of relativity or why Madame Bovary was the seminal novel of womens' rights. Even if you wanted to speak to him/her (you don't), you would be hard pressed to interrupt their discussion on the weakening state of the yen and its relevance to the global robotics industry.

6. I'm Still Working: The office party isn't complete with a person who is glued to their blackberry, checking e-mails, responding to e-mails, sending e-mails and generally looking down upon the plebs who have decided to have a casual afternoon. The company still needs to be run - and you're the (wo)man for the job. Often found alongside the TDICFY or the Sucker-Upper. Their clothes might say party but their demeanor definitely says business. They abstain from alcohol, and scoff when rounds of shots are offered up. They're also experts at avoiding TGWKE.
Have a wonderful holiday party season, and enjoy the egg nog.